| (no subject) |
[Feb. 2nd, 2007|09:22 pm] |
I like to pretend to eat brains
Take in the knowledge of those around me
I cut my arms day to day as a daily reminder
The wounds serve as a calendar
A journal
Ever time we fuck like porn stars
I remember the past
The present
The fuckers and rapists and victums and martyrs
I see the television sets
And watch them crush us like ten ton anvles
I want you to approve of my life
And let me kill myself
Perhaps then it will all be forgotten
...
Perhaps |
|
|
| Raggedy Tran |
[Feb. 2nd, 2007|09:21 pm] |
I am the ragdoll.
My rag doll stuffing.
Ipecac lineing.
They can taste it.
Revolting.
Don't touch me.
Just hold me.
Run your fingers through my rats.
Get them stuck til further notice.
Lift my pink and frilly dress.
Touch my dolly crotch if you wish.
Don't expect to be the first.
Don't expect to be the last.
But expect to hear my lies.
I'll fill your ears with my rag doll stuffing.
Tell you what you want to hear.
You are my one.
You are my only.
This time trust me.
Love me like I was your own.
I want to be yours.
I want you to be my rag doll stuffing♥
-dedicated to Ryan W. ♥ |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jan. 11th, 2007|10:12 pm] |
I have heard of pathetic souls
Teeny bopping whores and coniving cunts
Fifteen year old prostitutes and eighty year old pimps
Lands of the enslaved and home of the pussies
Intensity often is a bitch slap in the face
So take it in
Roll it around on your tongue
Ease your way in before you make any long-tearm commitment
Wake up
Open your eyes
Take a fucking look around
I have felt the world crumble beneith my feet
And laughed
I have let the sands of life slip away
I've danced with the best and died with the worst
If you were to look out the window
What would you see?
Dead women and children
And all of the men
Fucking their corpses
Anal retentive preists
Giving anal
And every jurk off jacking off at this pretty picture
How could one comprihend
That somthing so bitter
Could be so true
Open your eyes
Take a fucking look around
I have heard the screams
And felt the dicks of the rapists in my cunt
I have been pinned down
I have lived
And I have died
I went to the eulogy of the cat
Slaughtered by curiosity
I am the sulton of cliches
And the creator of God
As are we all
I am satan
I am the arch angel
I am the dancer
I am the singer
I have killed
I have saved
I have lived
and I have died
Wake up
Open your eyes
Take a fucking look around. |
|
|
| Childhood |
[Jan. 8th, 2007|05:44 pm] |
She used to spend time with her mom and dad, no questions asked. It was the thing to do! It made her feel more important than anyone else.
Eventually, her patents started taking her to a close friend. There she met a boy. This boy was a little older and he liked to play. She wanted to play games too, for she had no friends. He told her she had to take a test. She was eager to please. He told her to take off her clothes, and let him touch her wherever he pleased. No matter how much she cried and said it hurt. It was the thing to do! It made her feel more important than anyone else. Her dad started saying things, things that made no sense to her. He asked her to do things she didn’t want to do. But no matter how much she screamed at him to leave her be, he paid no attention to her wish, and kept talking. So she said nothing in response. It was the thing to do! It made her feel more important than anyone else.
Years later, after all memories were forgotten, she met a boy who loved her so. He told her things that made her feel infinite. So she gave him permission to do as he pleased. It was the thing to do! It made her feel more important than anyone else. Times got tougher and that boy left after his requests were filled. And this little girl, with her dollies and pig tails, was very well known and liked by all the boys. She befriended and pleased them all, just to get a taste of affection. No matter how much she cried, pleaded, or bled, they kept saying no. But it was the thing to do! It made her feel more important than anyone else.
Eventually, those boys all left, leaving her alone with scars and tales to tell when all else has fallen apart. But it had. All was lost and she was left alone in the world, more bitter and cruel than ever. And she had wished for her parents to love her once again. To go back in time, before slamming doors and breaking dishes. Before braces and bras. Before tight shirts and mini skirts. She wanted to feel the cool breeze on her face as her father pushed her on the tire swing, hanging from the old spruce tree. Or the cozy warmth between her toes as her mother tucked her in to read her a story every night. She wanted to be cared about again. Because it was the thing to do, but this time, she knew she wasn’t more important then anyone else |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jan. 8th, 2007|05:21 pm] |
I pretend to be happy.
But I'm the only one who truly knows how much I've wasted away.
I wish she could see my tears
Hear my screams
Miserable and sensual
[all at once]
I wish she was there to cry in to yesterday
When I said my final goodbyes
I want to let go of yer
Please believe me
Yew have to.... |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jan. 8th, 2007|05:17 pm] |
She never called.
she said she would.
I love the way that she and I play these games with eachother
Peachy keen.
I would never tell her to fuck off [in so many words]
I basically already have though.
It's just that nobody knows it.
My worst fear in the entire world;
Disappearing into the backdrop
And no one ever noticeing
These were my exact words
I told her
As she held me close
Telling me I will "never fade away"
Can yew see me now?
Because I can't.
I truly can't feel myself here anymore. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jan. 8th, 2007|05:15 pm] |
and i've never been so high
yer eyelashes brush me off my feet
i'm falling from heaven
the earth below me sinks
the sticky ceiling is coming closer
and the words go blurry as i type them
come onto me
glutenous obsession
follow me into a better awakening
i am telling a story of someone that i am not
i am pretending that it means somthing
and i feel like it is no use
i am brutally honest
i am manic in the wold that i have made for myself
green greed is in the air like love
i would pick up the bowl to my lips if i remembered how
i don't know yew anymore
all the inlookers
and outwatcher
voyerists from another dimension here to play a game
i don't know yew anymore
ringing bells and and jiggle sounds
creepy crawlies chirping
louder
and louder
and louder
i don't know yew anymore
i'm too fucking sober. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jan. 8th, 2007|05:12 pm] |
I just want to write and write and write
until my fingers go numb like the rest of me.
My eyes are drooping and dying under the weight of the smoke.
The smoke is full of my memories,
all floating in front of me,
twisting and turning into shapes of D______ and S______.
M___ A__ and B______.
All of them fall before my feild of vision and is outstanding.
Tomorrow will all wind up as a dream and my cunt will be screaming
for more attention from an anonymous donor.
Note: I was under the influence of drugs when this was written. the end. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jan. 8th, 2007|05:11 pm] |
t would be so nice to fall back and sleep until something amusing comes my way.
I feel like gripping the string of a kite and flying away.
I don't want to be alone anymore.
Somebody save me?
I want to smoke marijuana and deeply inhale some nag champa insence.
I want to be an optimist in this moment.
I want to feel happier.
I want to stop wanting.
Dammit. |
|
|
| (no subject) |
[Jan. 8th, 2007|05:08 pm] |
She told me I've been replaced.
Not in so many words, but in words none the less.
She left me crying in the matress we used to fuck in.
I am a nostalgic beauty.
Looking back at my paperdoll shreds.
She used to wisper sweet nothings in my ear.
Now she doesn't talk at all.
The prophet told me that this would never happen.
My tarot cards have served me no good.
But above all the omens I trusted her the most.
And she too lied in my face.
Once I turn out these lights and close my eyes.
The night moon will bloom.
And all will be forgotten.
She will be another paper doll in my wooden box.
I will rest her in the coffin.
And close the lid.
-Dedicated to Desiree ♥ |
|
|
| 2006 |
[Jan. 8th, 2007|05:07 pm] |
Goodbye to a life that no longer can hold onto me.
Goodbye and forgotten all the things that once meant so much.
New forms of serendipity spelled out in bloody vomit and cum.
Another year to wish for the best.
Another list of resolutions to bend and break.
I'm tired of the things that are chasing me.
365 days of torture.
Finally, a fucking break.
Happy new year, darling. |
|
|
| Decapitation |
[Nov. 23rd, 2006|01:31 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  angry | ] |
My spider legs have been picked up
Eaten by a mad cricket from hell
The coachman stole my skeleton
All that remained was eaten by peasants
My skin is raw from sandpaper facials
Fingernails bleeding from splinters and wolves
There are rotten dentures in my jugular
I think my tongue just fell off
My scalp is sore from the hair torn out
Pond scum blotched in both my eyes
A fleet of a thousand rapists fancy me
This is how yew’ve made me feel.
This is dedicated to yew.
|
|
|
| See Yew Next Tuseday |
[Nov. 17th, 2006|06:20 pm] |
Kisses evaporating from the crystal surface
I’ll put down my opium pipe and wipe away the lipstick
Eyes crossed in bitter-sweet ecstasy
It’s pointless to explain this
It’ll be forgotten by morning
Transitioning into a new tomorrow
Where the monsters tuck yew into bed
And boogeyman reads yer bedtimes stories
Up is down
But down is not up
Behind the green glass bubbles
Have yew played this game?
And it all seems like I’ve been here before
De ja vu of existential nostalgia
Awaiting a voice on the other end of the receiver
Date rape has become my last resort
Stubborn as a Jr. Hitler
Twice as tall
Twice as cruel
Counterfeit Lithium is my synthetic reality
Delude the pain
It’ll all be over tomorrow.
-Dedicated to Desiree ♥ |
|
|
| Little Bitch |
[Nov. 17th, 2006|06:07 pm] |
Little lying lawyer bitch
Suck yer clit to make yew itch
Cut yer sleeves and down yer throat
Gasoline and bitter smoke
Cum on yew right in yer eye
Fuck yer pussy til yew die♥ |
|
|
| Aryan Goddess |
[Aug. 31st, 2006|02:56 am] |
In a world
A bittersweet darling Full of judgment
Where no one is perfect
All worth the accusations
I found yew
Mood ring hair
And eyes like some Aryan goddess
That Hitler sent down from heaven
Just for me
All I have are my words love
There are no thoughts past my peroxide scalp
Just contemplation of my own sob stories
Let’s share the tears
And dance like faeries
Shall we my love?
We shall
Dedicated to Miss Riss♥ |
|
|
| Taciturn |
[Aug. 31st, 2006|02:54 am] |
She climbs
The highest of ladders
Just to fall further
It’s what she likes to do
She likes the sympathy
Enjoys sorrow eyes
And happy cries
She hates
All the silence
There has to be noise
Or she explodes
She just wants someone
To scream her name
To go insane
To read all about it
Taciturn is the world
That we live in
Yew have to speak
Or give in
Scream loud
Or die out
Become extinct
A taciturn girl like her |
|
|
| Necrophelia |
[Aug. 31st, 2006|02:27 am] |
They found her
Under the lilac tree
Brutally broken into smithereens
Raped
Fukked
Skull fukked
And destroyed
Her desolate corpse
Worth no more than a pence
To please a neurotic nymphomaniac
Have yew ever been in love
Said the man
With the hand cuffs and brass knuckles
She cried and screamed
It took a whole three days
Before the vultures picked out all her major organs
What good will yer existentialist beliefs do yew now?
He laughed in her face
Carving her heart out
Only to find a pocket watch
Tic tock tic tock
The dead girls are always the feisty ones. |
|
|
| Letters to her |
[Jun. 7th, 2006|07:10 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  God I miss her.... | ] |
I'm used to getting what I want
I have no problem with manipulation
I use them for a couple months
Then completely throw them away
Darling
Do yew remember yer graduation party
Where we all played truth or dare?
I only kissed the girls
Just to make her jealouse
But then I didn't know
That yew were the one I'd be spending the night with
What can yew expect
Anticipation to bring
Other than more anticipation
And I waited for yer calls
That never came
And yer love that stayed the same
It was all compleate bullshit darling
Something else we have to ignore
And in the irony of it all
Yew were the only one
That I never wanted to leave
Dedicated to Shaelin S.♥ |
|
|
| Ode to a Fetus |
[Jun. 7th, 2006|07:04 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  lhdgoijhgolpgke | ] |
I walk as a freshly departed corpse
Up a long
Forgoten allyway
With no distict topography
Flat
As my voice was
Just an hour ago
But now
I am growing quite frantic
Fast
I am panicing now
All wound up
Like a little top
Spinning
Everything is spinning
My mouth is dry
As the Sahara desert
From inhaling all the evaporated
Bodily fluids
And much to my disapointment
The dead don't drink
Dasani water
I was nieve
Stupid
For taking on every erection
That came my way
I think
As I walk
Kicking straightened clothes hangers out of my way
Dedicated To Paige Morgan
Covered in my babies particles
And broken dreams
Yew blame me
I blame the government |
|
|
| {{{Polination}}} |
[Jun. 7th, 2006|06:57 pm] |
Daisies
Humble as the day is long
But permiscuous
She shows her petals
But don't tell the gardener
A strict Christian man
A man of God
When alone
She dances
To the devil's music
Rock
Heavy in beat
Like the taste in her mouth
She blooms
She blooms
She is beautiful
All the Johnny Jump Ups
Come to her
Bribe her with strawberry ice cream
Her favorite
Pink
Creamy
Sweet
But slightly tart
Just like her
They all fantasize
That she is really devouring them
Their stamen
It makes them happy
It makes her malcontent
Vomiting up Rohypnols
And fertalizer
Over a rusty urinal
She feels her petals shreading
Shreading gently
Can yew feel it too? |
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
| |
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
semencoatedcunt's journal